Saint Peter the Apostle

A Reflection

Like many men Peter wanted to be seen as strong, courageous, tough and resolute. He was all these things yet paradoxically he was also, weak, cowardly, indecisive Peter was essentially the ultimate people pleaser, yet out of the twelve it was Peter who was chosen to become the leader.

When we look at the life of this great Apostle we must recognise that during his life span Peter underwent a metamorphosis that shook him to his very core and radically transformed him into a man of both courage and substance while still remaining the same Peter who would at times revert back to the attraction of a longing to be liked by the multitudes.

In order to recognise the fundamental changes that transpired within the heart and soul of Peter we must look at two events in his life which began a revolution within his very depths. The Peter that followed Jesus, listened to Jesus, lived with Jesus, ate with Jesus and who was befriended by Jesus, and who came to love Jesus for as Peter exclaimed when questioned, "he asked his disciples, "Who do people say that the Son of Man is?" They replied, "Some say John the Baptist, others Elijah, still others Jeremiah or one of the prophets." He said to them, "But who do you say that I am?" Simon Peter said in reply, "You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God." The Peter that could speak with such strength and conviction was spoken from a heart that had not yet been tested. During this time spent with Jesus, Peter was full of bravado and bluster a man more comfortable with action rather than prayer, a man intent upon proving his strength to all who accompanied him, including Jesus himself!

This was a man among men and he thrived in the company of his fellow Apostles and his friend Jesus, who intrigued but also baffled him, for Peter loved the commotion and roar of the crowds, he loved to be the centre of attention and the thrills that public life brought, yet so many times Jesus would insist that the mysteries he had shared with them must remain a secret. Peter was not given to thinking about things too much as the days were short and there was work to be done, after all he had spent his life as a fishermen, he knew what hard work meant. Deep thinking only left Peter perplexed, confused and frustrated, he preferred to speak less and do more, an action man in the true sense of the word.

When Jesus spoke about prayer, Peter listened with one ear, as he concentrated on more important issues, such as where they would sleep that night, what would they eat for the day and how was his family coping?..Should he return to his family or continue this journey with Jesus? All these things took much effort how could Peter find time to waste in prayer? There was too much to do! Even though for a short time Peter returned to his family he could not forget this man Jesus and his message...he also could not forget the words Jesus spoke to him which resonated in his heart and soul,"Come after me, and I will make you fishers of men." Peter was not a fanciful man but he could no longer ignore these words which held the meaning to his existence and is the Word of life.

As Jesus traveled within his Ministry so did Peter, who followed in the Master's footsteps while keeping an eye out for anyone who may cause trouble, for was not Peter the strong one? He alone would make sure that nothing happened to Jesus for Peter was a man of action, when Peter roared everyone jumped, he was proud of his fierce courage. Though Peter loved to be seen as strong and forceful, yet the words Jesus spoke slowly took ground as Jesus spoke of the way to the Heavenly Kingdom with words Peter had never expected to hear, a way of living that puzzled him as Jesus spoke to the crowds, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the land..." What was Peter to make of this kind of language and how could anyone live this message in the daily trials of life? These questions and more reverberated within the soul of Peter for one of Peter's great blessings was an insatiable curiosity a longing to know the Truth....at all costs.

Because Peter believed that through Jesus one found eternal life, he was determined to ensure that nothing would happen to his beloved friend. So Peter would leave the praying to Jesus while he, a man of great physical strength would take the necessary action to protect Jesus and his fellow disciples. Nothing was going to happen to Jesus or his friends on Peters watch, he was proud of his strength for the many years he had toiled as a fisherman hauling on board vast quantities of fish caught within his net, Peter had the strength and disposition of an ox!

Peter was most comfortable on the sea, where he had learned his craft to perfection, so he was in his element when he, and the other disciples decided to cross the lake in a fishing boat. It was not long before a storm blew up and the disciples shivered in terror as the waves washed over them. Peter may have been able to earn his living by the sea but he could not tame it, so all the Apostles were amazed when they saw Jesus approach them, but was it Jesus or a ghost? With his usual bluster Peter took charge and asked Jesus to command him to walk on the water and meet him, which Jesus did, but then as the Word reveals, "Come." Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw how (strong) the wind was he became frightened; and, beginning to sink, he cried out, "Lord, save me!" Peter once again had relied on his own strength, he had not yet realised that his strength was totally reliant upon the Lord, he would soon learn this lesson in the most painful way.

When we look at the life of Peter it reveals a man both courageous yet at times terrified, a man of action, yet when faced with opposition he flees. A man of strength yet when it was called upon his weakness overcame him, a man who promises much yet failed to deliver what he had boasted, that he would stand beside Jesus while all others fled. The man who had no time for prayer soon found he had placed his 'faith' in himself.

Jesus had warned all his disciples what lay ahead of him, yet when the time came for his betrayal, the disciples were in disarray as Peter who had slept when Jesus had most needed him took his sword out and cut the ear off the slave of the High Priest, once again Peter chose action despite the message that Jesus had preached, had he not learned anything from his Master?

Once Jesus was arrested, and the disciples had fled the scene, Peter was left to himself, but still he could not leave Jesus entirely alone so he watched Jesus from a safe distance or so he thought. Peter was an emotional mess, a confused and frightened man, as thoughts raced through his head...what could one man do against such a horde? Everything Peter had depended upon now deserted him, when questioned by the crowds Peter denied ever knowing Jesus not just once but three times, and once again the words of Jesus resonated within Peters heart, "Amen, I say to you, this very night before the cock crows, you will deny me three times."

Peter stood naked before his own perception of himself, he could barely tolerate his own company, yet still he kept his eye on Jesus as he kept his distance and a well spring of self disgust rose up in him, there was no hiding now. As Peter watched in the safety of the crowds as the fire warmed those around him yet the chillness within Peter's tormented heart found no warmth.

As the crowds gathered Peter was a man torn apart, a gut wrenching torment swept through him, he so loved Jesus, yet he had denied him..still he waited.

There but for a moment stood Jesus, bloodied, ragged, spittle running down his face, as he turned and looked upon Peter. A trembling Peter could not help himself, he gazed upwards towards Jesus where their eyes met.

The look that broke Peter's heart, that shattered forever his own belief in himself, that brought Peter to breaking point and to his knees. Peter found no condemnation in the Lords eyes, he found no censure...what Peter found was infinite love and mercy, when what he longed for was to receive what he deserved, instead he found... compassionate forgiveness.

Peter was a broken man, but his torment was not over as the tears gushed forth...he still had to face the mother of Jesus. This most holy of mothers, yet he had failed to keep any of his empty promises, how could he face this most holy and courageous of mothers? Peter looked within and found himself empty.

These were the darkest hours of Peter's life as he wept bitter tears so much so that deep grooves would remain on his face to remind him of his own failures and of God's greatness. What would he say to the mother of Jesus, how could he face her who had suffered such a grievous wound? What could he say? Peter's bluster had left him.

During these long and lonely hours as the disciples fled in every direction, more words came to Peter's heart, "Simon, Simon, behold Satan has demanded to sift all of you like wheat, but I have prayed that your own faith may not fail; and once you have turned back, you must strengthen your brothers." Despite not living up to his promises Peter came to understand that it is God's Promise that matters, slowly he re-gathered his strength as he now relied upon the Word spoken by Jesus. In these painful hours he trusted in himself no longer and instead trusted God as he began to understand the power of prayer.

As the disciples gathered in their hiding place, where a stunned Mary Magdalene informed the disciples that Jesus was risen, still many of them scoffed at such a thought...Peter did not, he fled to the empty tomb, no longer fearful of being seen...Peter ran and found the tomb empty.

The day that Jesus was Crucified and died was the day that Peter began to live the Gospel message, no longer relying on his own strength but instead Peter kept his eyes on his Lord and Him Crucified!

We can only imagine the humiliating experience which faced Peter when he met up with his brother disciples, having failed to live up to his former boasts. We can only imagine the words shared between Peter and the mother of Jesus, when he also had to face her with his cowardice....Peter learnt the meaning of humility and then lived it.

There would be many more challenges that Peter would face as he continually confronted his indecisive nature, his need to please those around him.....Till he met one man who would join him in the mission entrusted to Peter, to spread the Good News to all people...that man was known as....Paul.

Peace of Christ to ALL

Copyright © 2006 Marie Smith. All rights reserved.

Saint Mary Magdalene

Mary of Magdala was a woman of character and of independent means, and like many women she was also tormented by the lifestyle she had embraced, fiercely driven on by the seven demons who seduced her senses and tempted her beyond her endurance.

This woman like many women with strong characters would have been rejected by the elite in her own society as she lived brazenly and openly but also with great inner loneliness which no amount of money nor dissolute company could assuage. Though Mary would have probably shown a bravado to the outside world, within her own soul she was tormented day and night, where was her release? Who could save one such as she?

"Afterward he journeyed from one town and village to another, preaching and proclaiming the good news of the kingdom of God. Accompanying him were the Twelve and some women who had been cured of evil spirits and infirmities, Mary, called Magdalene, from whom seven demons had gone out, Joanna, the wife of Herod's steward Chuza, Susanna, and many others who provided for them out of their resources."

The meeting between Jesus and Mary would change her life forever as she not only listened but lived what she heard from the Master, though no longer tormented or at the mercy of the demons which had possessed her soul, Mary still was a woman of commendable substance and character. Just as Mary Magdalene followed her Lord and Master, she also looked towards Mary Mother of Jesus and drew strength from the purity of heart and the humility of spirit shown by Mary most Holy. Through their love of Jesus one as Mother and the other as disciple, both Mary's would come to love and support the other as they journeyed alongside Jesus during his Ministry.

The Mother of Jesus would have been crucial factor in the developing character of Mary Magdalene, as she learnt to embrace humility, meekness and to serve others through love rather than be on the receiving end of those who had served her because she had employed them to do so. For when Jesus healed Mary He also started a revolution of love within the soul of Mary, a flame that burned with zealous love for the Truth espoused by Jesus, her Master and Messiah! This altered Mary's entire being and changed her lifestyle completely as she followed the one who had freed her from her torments, her beloved Master. Because Mary Magdalene was independently wealthy this also helped Jesus and his Apostles to continue His Ministry as Mary offered her support both spiritually and monetary as Jesus preached His Salvific message from village to village.

Mary Magdalene was also a woman of fierce courage, but like the mother of Jesus she too would have heard the rumours concerning her beloved Lord and Master as the tempest grew and those in high places plotted to destroy this man Jesus! Mary's unwavering devotion to Jesus never faltered, nor did Mary question her Savior as He spoke about the Kingdom of Heaven, she accepted all for she knew that God did not lie, and unlike many others Mary did not question Jesus Divinity but accepted all on Faith.

Just as she had been healed Mary Magdalene witnessed all those who had been healed by the Master, and with great joy she rejoiced in their freedom just as she too had been freed. Though Mary rejoiced she also sensed the dark shadow which pursued her beloved Lord as the storm clouds gathered around Him, though her body trembled at what would happen to her beloved Jesus, yet her spirit was strong and unwavering.

Mary's courage would be tested to the limits as one of the twelve with deceit in his heart betrayed her beloved Lord into the hands of the despotic Sanhedrin. As Jesus wept alone and sweat blood in the Garden of Gethsemane, both Mary Magdalene and Mary mother of Jesus kept vigil that long and lonely night at their place of lodging as morning dawned, while dark clouds enclosed around Jesus. Both Mary's arose and strode forth one to be with her beloved Son the other to stand alongside her beloved Lord.

Mary Magdalene's love and devotion for Jesus never faltered nor did self interest intercede Mary stood firm to the end irrespective of her personal safety. This unfaltering and total commitment to her Lord and Savior shows the true nature of Mary Magdalene a love so fierce that nothing would dispel it, not suffering, pain or even death...nothing would come between Mary and her beloved Master.

It was with horror and true anguish of heart as Mary Magdalene, alongside the Mother of Jesus and those closest to Jesus followed him as He was made to carry his own Cross to Golgotha. Mary would have heard the taunts thrown at her beloved Lord, she would have seen the spittle directed towards the Son of God, as she tried to protect and help Jesus beloved Mother while witnessing the dreadful journey of the one she loved with all her heart and soul....A love so pure that to this day it is misunderstood.

A woman who only a few years ago had been kept prisoner by her sinful lifestyle yet Jesus saw through her pain of heart and exorcised the demons that was demolishing her very being. Though not a prostitute Mary of Magdala had led a loose life. This woman knew she was witnessing the Crucifixion of her Lord and Savior the one who had lit a light of such spiritual depth that it would never be extinguished not by torture or death.

Mary Magdalene was a woman of immense fortitude, as she followed the path of blood left by her Lord as he reached Golgotha and nails were driven into his flesh. Mary's anguish of heart would have been almost undendurable if it were not for the fact that her love outweighed her pain and her fear. As Jesus was lifted upon the Cross to the derision of the crowds and the guards as they mocked him, one can imagine the immense strength it took for Mary a woman of uncommon valor to remain silent beneath the bloodied Cross of her Lord and Savior. As His life emptied and a sword pierced the soul of His beloved Mother, Mary most Holy.

As Jesus cried his last words, "Father, into your hands I commend my spirit"; Mary's grief at the loss of her friend, Lord and Savior can never be expressed suffice to say that theirs was a friendship of such purity as to be untarnished by anything of a worldly nature. For upon being released from the seven demons Mary's entire being was also freed from the constraints of uninhibited passions as she embraced and lived Jesus Message in her own life.

Upon Jesus body being lowered into the loving embrace of his mournful and sorrowing Mother, Mary Magdalene and those who had stood beneath the Cross comforted each other as best they could, as they beheld the sight of the Mother as she held the bloodied and ravaged body of her beloved Son in her loving arms.

Just as Mary Magdalene had wept when she anointed our Lord's feet with her tears, now her tears were those of the heartbroken as she beheld the tortured body of her beloved friend and Savior. These tears would not be shed for long as Mary Magdalene followed the body of her Lord as he was laid in a borrowed tomb. Once the Sabbath was over Mary Magdalene with friends went once again to the tomb of Jesus in order to anoint His Body only to find his body gone!

It was to Mary his devoted friend and disciple that Jesus revealed himself as Risen and it was to Mary Magdalene who had the responsibility to inform the other disciples which she did. And so the words ring out through eternity...."I have seen the Lord,"....

Peace of Christ to ALL

Copyright © 2006 Marie Smith. All rights reserved.

Saint Nicodemus & Saint Joseph of Arimathea

"Now there was a Pharisee named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews.He came to Jesus at night and said to him, "Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God, for no one can do these signs that you are doing unless God is with him."Jesus answered and said to him, "Amen, amen, I say to you, no one can see the kingdom of God without being born from above." Nicodemus said to him, "How can a person once grown old be born again? Surely he cannot reenter his mother's womb and be born again, can he?" Jesus answered, "Amen, amen, I say to you, no one can enter the kingdom of God without being born of water and Spirit. What is born of flesh is flesh and what is born of spirit is spirit. Do not be amazed that I told you, 'You must be born from above.'"

Nicodemus was a studious and careful man and not given to flights of fancy, this is one of the reasons he was a respected body of the Sanhedrin, a well learned Pharisee. Which is why this man Jesus troubled him, perplexed him and soon enough, Nicodemus had to meet this mysterious man.

Though Nicodemus was curious to meet this man, Jesus, who had enacted amazing miracles, who preached that through Him sins are forgiven, who told of the Kingdom to come, and had embraced the downcasts and outcasts of society, still Nicodemus had his reputation to consider, what if he were seen to be speaking to a blasphemer, the repercussions would tarnish his good name perhaps beyond redemption?

Therefore Nicodemus played it careful, he went to see this man Jesus under cover of darkness in order to see for himself the claims that Jesus was making, could this be the Son of God? Though Nicodemus managed to speak with Jesus without being noticed he was left feeling even more confused than before upon listening to what Jesus had to say to his queries. Nicodemus probably spent the rest of the time studying the Torah and also watching and listening to Jesus from a distance, for what separated Jesus and Nicodemus was not distance but belief.

What Nicodemus was hearing meant an enormous revolution, a revolution of ultimate love and redemption not through our means but through God. Nicodemus was also a man torn apart as he realised that in order to embrace Jesus as the Son of God, he must leave his old safe life, a life he had built up over many years which had gained the respect of his contemporaries. How could he leave all that he had accrued over the years, the friends he had made within the Sanhedrin, and all for what exactly?

Nicodemus was a troubled man, for though he was a learned Pharisee he was not a hypocrite and he knew within his heart of hearts what he saw and heard, and slowly he began to live the Word he heard, 'born again'.

"Now since it was preparation day, in order that the bodies might not remain on the cross on the Sabbath, for the Sabbath day of that week was a solemn one, the Jews asked Pilate that their legs be broken and they be taken down....After this, Joseph of Arimathea, secretly a disciple of Jesus for fear of the Jews, asked Pilate if he could remove the body of Jesus. And Pilate permitted it. So he came and took his body. Nicodemus, the one who had first come to him at night, also came bringing a mixture of myrrh and aloes weighing about one hundred pounds. They took the body of Jesus and bound it with burial cloths along with the spices, according to the Jewish burial custom. Now in the place where he had been crucified there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had yet been buried. So they laid Jesus there because of the Jewish preparation day; for the tomb was close by."

Like Nicodemus, Joseph of Arimathea had built up a solid reputation and had become a respectable Pharisee, well learned and just like Nicodemus, he too had a lot to lose if this man Jesus was simply yet another puff of wind, here today and gone tomorrow. So Joseph also followed Jesus in secret so as to observe this man and to then study the Torah seeking answers to the question lodged within his heart of hearts. What drove Joseph most though was fear of his contemporaries, as the whispers within the Sanhedrin would soon become a roar for the blood of Jesus, Son of God. So Joseph listened in secret to the Words of Jesus as he drew closer and closer to Jesus in the safe cocoon of anonymity. Like Nicodemus, Joseph knew that to openly support Jesus would bring down all the work he had spent a life time building, and to also be deserted by his 'friends' within the Sanhedrin, what was Joseph to do? Just as with Nicodemus, Joseph was not a hypocrite, but he was a careful man who had acquired vast wealth through shrewd and honest business dealings.

Though Jesus spent three years in Ministry to preach the Kingdom of God to all who would listen, working alongside his twelve Apostles, yet at the end of His life as Jesus breathed his last breath only one Apostle stood beneath the Cross. All the others had deserted their beloved Lord and God, but not Nicodemus or Joseph of Arimathea.

Upon the death of Christ, Joseph with great courage approached Pilate and asked for the body of Jesus so he could bury him in his own tomb before the Sabbath began. These two men who had kept their distance through fear of the crowds found their courage as the crowds fled their beloved Master. It was Joseph and Nicodemus who alongside Jesus most Holy Mother buried him in a borrowed tomb, Josephs own place of rest. Throughout the Ministry of Jesus both Joseph and Nicodemus had kept their distance through fear, now at the death of the Son of God, both men found that their love of God surpassed their fear of man.

While the Apostles were in disarray Nicodemus and Joseph stepped forward, and lived what they had heard, seekers of the Truth, and understood a religion that kept men enchained by Law was no religion at all but a prison of the soul.

Through the death of Christ, Nicodemus and Joseph found God, for as Jesus had told Nicodemus, "The wind blows where it wills, and you can hear the sound it makes, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes; so it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit." These two men became mighty in spirit through love of the one sent to save all of mankind.

Peace of Christ to ALL

Copyright © 2006 Marie Smith. All rights reserved.